Moving day

This blogspot has moved here

I did this painting for my class in the Pentateuch.

It is my first fully completed painting in almost 6 years.

I remembered how much i loved creating art.

inventory

"We have gone through many trials, but never to our detriment, always to our advantage; and the conclusion from our past experience is, that He who has been with us in six troubles, will not forsake us in the seventh. What we have known of our faithful God, proves that He will keep us to the end. Let us not, then, reason contrary to evidence. How can we ever be so ungenerous as to doubt our God? Lord, throw down the Jezebel of our unbelief, and let the dogs devour it " spurgeon.

So i posted that same quote just over a year ago now.

I think that this year that passed is the single year that has gone by the fastest in my almost 24 years on earth.

I am at a place where I am waiting to see what is next. I'm at school... carrying on... and at work, carrying on... and i get the feeling that there is something on the brink.

God knows, and my only task is to seek to know Him.

Some updates... my parents and little sister are going to South Africa over Christmas. I wish i could go. In my deepest I know that it is not the time for me to go back, but I am still sad about it. If you read this, please pray for their safety when they go.

I am hoping to try my hand at charge nurse in the New Year. Lots of responsibility for sure, but I am up for the challenge... I think it's the next step.

Then I am still waiting to find out more about Cambodia, the how, when and whys of it all.
And in the meantime I can't do much about the New Zealand picture... it is there... just not a moving picture yet, since I guess i can't start applying for a visa till next year anyways.
These things are all just a few desires in my heart... maybe they were placed there by God...

So God... and I...
I am gaining a larger perspective...from the work I am doing in school and the lectures.. I am learning... but somehow I feel like I am stagnating, or maybe even shrinking.. why is this?
Isn't it supposed to happen this way: I learn more about God and my life changes!...
i feel like i'm still the same rebellious stubbourn person i have been ... but i think perhaps my vision is tunnelled.
I'm thinking I should take a step back and take an inventory of lessons learned, progress, mistakes made and such..

That'll be my task

I am sitting at school and I have exactly 5 minutes to write a quick post before I meet my brother for lunch.

I am taking 2 classes this semester: Pentateuch and Intro to the Christian Faith (a theology course). So far I have learned soo MUCH! I'm not gonna lie, the workload is insane, and I am working too. I realize that I am not alone and that makes me happy. To realize that there are others who can handle worklife, homelife and school life , gives is hope.
I'm learning about self-discipline for sure.

I am starting to explore a few options. I'm in the process of looking at an opportunity to go to Cambodia for a bit to help out with this awesome organization/work with an amazing missionary lady called Marie. I don't have many details yet, and I don't know how it will look or when it will happen.

Another option i'm exploring, is perhaps going to live in New Zealand for a year, to work as a nurse and to complete an intercultural internship at the same time for my degree.
This probably wouldn't be until 2009 earliest.

But I really don't know yet. Just taking small steps to find out more, and keeping it all in prayer.

Yesterday I had a bit of a breakdown.
I am not a good communicator.
I have a dysfunctional of communicating with others, and I think it is rooted in my dysfunction in communicating with God.
alas, i have to leave because my brother is here to take me out to lunch.
But I think i'll expand a bit on this at a later time....
probably months from now when it is time to blog again (as illustrated by my pattern of blogging activity).

goals

So much for saying i'll write in here more. I've sort of lost touch with the blogger world, save for reading a few friends blogs here and there.

In the last few days I've been trying hard to figure out what I'm doing.
My aspirations, my goals; my purpose here in Canada, here in this city.
I'm also slowly learning to do things I have always wanted to do, and not let fear get in the way. It's like God is helping me see with new eyes, that all things are possible with Him.

I set up some goals for the next five years, and I'm going to continue praying and leaving these things in God's hands.
here are a few of the general goals which i don't mind sharing publicly on the internet.

Finish my masters
Pay off my loans and my car
Have gone to cambodia
Have gone to latin america
Excel in my language abilities, particularly spanish.
Be healthier overall (be in a regular workout/eating healthy routine)
Have visited or lived in New Zealand.
Started as a Labor/Delivery nurse or doing postpartum/women's health nursing.

And of course there's a whole list of character development things which is still a work in progress.

I also wouldn't mind being in a relationship heading toward marriage by the end of those 5 years... but when I was making that list, that really came as an afterthought.
I guess it is a reminder that i'm definitely far from marraige...
or well, until I meet the right man who will come alongside me ... whom I can come alongside and encourage/support in his aspirations.

God's got it figured out, that's enough for me.

I'm done and off to work.

surprises

So I have officially decided I'm going to write more frequently in my blog again.

i just had the most amazing week.
My friend Carmi from New Zealand came to visit me!! We haven't seen each other in 10 years. It was just an amazing time with each other and God. We talked and talked and talked. I took her to Banff, Canmore, Lake Louise. She was here for Stampede! We saw the parade and I also took her to Calaway park. I had so much fun.
God just encouraged me immensely. He ordained this visit, and our friendship. It's very special.
I'm learning so much about trusting in Him. He is showing me how trustworthy He is (he has always shown Himself trustworthy) but I am just finally starting to get the picture.
I miss Carmi now that she's not here, but I know we will see each other again. I am starting to save for a little trip of my own to Kiwi Land;)

I am also very excited about an opportunity coming up. I have always wanted to be part of a worship team. I love singing, but have never had a lot of confidence. This past year God has just stretched me so much and joining the worship team at my church just feels like the next step. I met with the music pastor and her and I jammed a bit today; it was a God-moment. I just know God is going to teach me so much through her and through this endeavor. In August, Dan and I will hopefully be a part of the worship team at our church. WOOHOO!

Ok, so now for the BIG NEWS.

Today, I went over to my parent's after church. We were just sitting around the living room watching tv, waiting for a couple of my older bro's friends to come and drop off a package he sent for us along with them, from ontario.
My mom's talking on the phone to Dan and she stops mid conversation as she's staring out the front window... she says "Is that a bike that is making that loud noise, I can swear there's a bike in our driveway"... First thing I think is "oh yeah, maybe Riaan's friends have bikes too, and they're making the trip out here on the bikes"
All of a sudden, my mom throws the front door open and starts running down the front steps, freaking out!! We all ran after her and there in our driveway was Riaan on his bike!!! He got off, all geared up in his black leather biker's gear and pulls off his helmet. His hair is now in like a bleached feaux-hawk tough-guy style and he walks over to my mom and gives her this HUGE hug!! He starts BAWLING!! My older bro the tough biker with his get-up starts BAWLING and he says, before we can even make sense of whats happening "I'm here to stay. I'm not going back!" My brother sold majority of his possessions, jumped on his bike with a backpack and trekked over Canada to Calgary to stay!!! He's finally here! We've all waited and prayed for so long. Only Dan knew and my dad had a suspision.
God was smiling, I could FEEEEL Him smiling with us. I love God.
This was probably the best surprise I've ever had in my life!